Attack of the Killer Steinbeck.

In the photograph shown above, taken by a gawking passerby, Tim Walden (left) struggles to free himself while his classmate, George Faegre (right), lies in stupor having been intellectually defeated by Steinbeck's Of Mice & Men just seconds before.

Minneapolis, MN - A sunny, spring afternoon in the Midwest quickly turned grim as a vicious and unusual attack claimed the intelligence of two Blake seniors. Patrick's Lit Circles class was enjoying the sun and their respective novels when John Steinbeck's Of Mice & Men wreaked havoc on the two young men. After regaining consciousness, both students' intelligence were noticeably affected by the attack. While they've regained some of their brainpower, doctors say they may never fully recover. When asked about the incident Walden said, "Well, at least I still have my dignity." This statement couldn't have been a clearer indication of the detrimental affect of Steinbeck's wrath, as it is well known among Walden's peers that he traded in all of his dignity for a Chicago Bears t-shirt early on in his childhood. So it goes.

Editor's Correction: One of the victim's, Tim Walden, was right to point out that he was attacked by Into the Wild, not Of Mice and Men. Whether that's better or worse this editor cannot say.